Gonna start to write blog again because i realized that sometimes memories are good to revive no matters it is good or bad.
Okay not going to use the "assignment formal type" english, i preferred "rojak" language. heeeh because i dont have to care about grammar. So currently the lifestyle i am "enjoying" now is not really enjoyable. Why i said so ? You know what, sometimes the mix up feeling that got me feel like i am the only person living with my own. i dont even have a real company to share my feeling and my everything with, somehow this loneliness is killing my sleeping time, which will makes me always imagine about "what if you are still be with me" ok i might, oh no, i sound crazy! people always think that i am still loving my ex, but i cant tell too. i dont even know my feeling, but one thing i can confirm for myself is, i love myself more than everyone now. i realized that, i changed a lot. i tend to hide the real me from revealing to others, because i know myself very well, i always hate people know something about me, even my friends. thats why i never really share my things with others. sometimes, being silly is really silly. i mean, you have to pretend urself very happy, always make fun, tell joke and act like i dont care anything. but sincerely i cared.
i know , its hard to switch back to which i think who i am to others, because people might think i changed.
now i just will look at myself, if anything happen, i will protect myself first. i know, if u care about others, others will not guarantee to care about u too, so why i need to be so kind for others? i am not Jesus the Christ.
sometimes, i feel insecure too. i dont know if thr any places left for me to actually be myself, until i remembered i owned a blog.
yup, i will not abandoned my blog anymore.
i hope people will not find out here.
ok, should off to sleep. good night
15th July 2014
2:33AM
